Are there things you should do as a lady before you say I do to any man? The answer is yes!
Marriage is something many ladies anticipate. Some ladies already have their dream wedding and marriage planned out in their heads. The institution of marriage is a very critical aspect of society; hence, one has to be prepared before saying I do.
As a lady, there are important things you should do before you say “I do,” and in this article, you will learn about seven of them and why you should take them seriously.
1. Heal From Traumas
Before saying “I do”, you should heal from your traumas. We all have different experiences, and sometimes, the negative experiences we have had stick with us and become the baggage we carry through life. This baggage ends up affecting different aspects of our lives negatively, including our relationships.
Some people are not aware of their traumas, making it more difficult for them to deal with. They find out that they react badly to a particular thing, but they can’t understand why.
If you say “I do” without healing from your traumas, you will find it challenging to make the union work even when you want it to work because you will self-sabotage your positive plans.
Some people are not aware of their traumas because they can be hidden or disguised sometimes, but one of the ways you can get a clue whether you have trauma baggage is to pay attention to how you respond to things, especially reoccurring ones like words, tone, etc. Someone who grew up in an abusive home, maybe with a substance-abusing parent, will probably experience violence and abuse and, therefore, will respond defensively and fearfully to anything that suggests violence, even if it is from a movie.
To identify your trauma and the source, you should first accept the possible presence of trauma in your life and then carefully examine your life experiences.
When you have identified the trauma, you should put in a deliberate effort to achieve healing by seeking the necessary help.
Also Read: What You Should Do or Shouldn’t Do as a Lady When You Find a Man You Admire
2. Fix Your Finances
When fixing finances is mentioned, many think of achieving financial freedom, but you don’t need to achieve financial independence before saying “I Do”. What you need is a stable source of income. As a lady, having a stable source of income is a necessity that will positively impact your marriage and your relationships.
When you have a stable source of income, you can afford your basic needs effortlessly, and that will prevent your choice of partner from being determined by only their financial capacity.
One of the ways to fix your finances is to invest in a side business if you are currently on a job. If you are more career-oriented, you should acquire more skills that will increase your value and fetch you better deals. For example, if you are a nurse, you can add digital skills like programming with a focus on machine learning for biotechnologies. This will automatically increase your value and your negotiation power.
3. Engage in a Healthy Fight
Engaging in a healthy fight with your intended partner helps you to understand how they react to disagreements and how they handle misunderstandings. Knowing the thought pattern of your intending partner is crucial. A healthy fight will reveal his principles and priorities in a relationship, and as a lady, you should pay keen attention to them because those are the bricks they are made of.
So when you are having banter or harmless misunderstandings, pay attention to how they respond and treat the situation. Be honest with yourself while examining their actions, and don’t take your discoveries lightly.
4. Have a Hobby or Two
Though marriage involves you and your partner, it is important that you have your own life independent of the marriage and having a hobby or two is a great way to achieve it. A hobby is something you enjoy doing for fun. While engaging in your hobby, you drive satisfaction and can build your individuality.
Going into marriage with a hobby will also spice up the marriage because since couples most often pick up traits and hobbies from each other, having your partner fall in love with your hobby will strengthen the bond of the marriage.
So, before you say “I do”, you can learn to bake cakes and snacks, make ice cream and fish, play your favourite game, play an instrument and many more. If you are not sure what to pick up as a hobby, look at the things you enjoy watching others do that bring satisfaction to you.
5. Create a Quality Support System
Having a solid support system before going into marriage is very important. This support system is your family, friends, and acquaintances. Most times, marriage does not afford us an adequate time to build a support system. Your support system is those you have a strong connection with and will come through for you whenever the need arises.
Creating a quality support system is a deliberate act. You have to intentionally work on building that system by investing in your relationship with the people.
6. Ensure You Enjoy Your Alone Time
Marriage is a union of two individuals, and maintaining a level of individuality creates a more healthy atmosphere in the marriage. As a lady, learn to enjoy your alone time, do the things you enjoy alone, like your hobbies, go on a solo trip or take yourself out.
Staying alone helps you to understand yourself better and know the aspects that need improvement, discarding and reserving. It will help you accord your partner their alone time when they need it without feeling empty, guilty or suspicious.
7. Learn to be Kind
Kindness is a great virtue to possess as a human and an important element for a successful marriage. Many wish to marry a kind person, but they pay little to no attention to knowing if they are kind, too.
A kind person is empathetic, compassionate and selfless; they know when to put the other person first. In marriage, kindness is what makes a couple care and take care of each other no matter their disagreements. No matter what their challenges are, they don’t allow them to affect their service to another.
Ask yourself this question: ‘Am I a kind person?’ and examine the way you treat people, especially strangers. If you have not been treating people fairly, it is always about you first, no matter the situation, so you need to start practising kindness intentionally.
Also Read: 10 Things You Should Know About a Man Before You Accept His Proposal
Conclusion
It is beautiful to say ‘I do’ to that partner that makes you feel butterflies in your belly, but before then, you must fix yourself by fixing your finances, learning to be kind and enjoy your own company, healing from past traumas, finding a hobby or two, build a solid support system and also ensure you are compatible by understanding how they react and tackles misunderstandings through engaging in healthy fights.
These are the seven things you should do as a lady before you say ‘I do’.
